Pups, (ex) in-laws, and 'the other woman'

I've met this adorable Pup. We'll call him Rover. He's young, had a very hard life and did I mention he was adorable... We've met a couple of times and walked around town, had dinner once. Chatted quite a bit. My feelings for Rover are growing. I wanted to kiss him the last time I met him, but didn't. I envisioned a slow, very gentle, lips barely-touching kiss at first, building with passion. I have mentioned this to Rover as we've chatted since then. He says I should have kissed him and that the next time we meet, he'll probably kiss me.

I was notified that my former mother-in-law passed away recently. While exes are exes for a reason, her parents were different than ordinary in-laws. They helped raise me. From the time I was 15 or 16 years old, they welcomed me and loved me and were my family. I never properly said goodbye to them when I came out as gay and left their daughter. That part of my divorce feels a bit unfinished. I may get the opportunity to say goodbye (of sorts) at her memorial service in the spring, and can see the father-in-law for the last time then too. Losing parents is hard.

I am apparently 'the other woman' in the mind of Kurt's wife. When he and I started chatting, he told me he deleted his chats out of habit. I never thought any more about it, because I believed they were being deleted. Apparently he stopped deleting them, and in our last correspondence he told me he loved me. I didn't know quite what to make of that, so I didn't respond. Wife enters stage left and reads the text string in it's entirety from whenever he stopped deleting. She is terrified that he is going to leave her and his two children for me (or another man, at some point). He and I had a phone chat not long ago where it seemed he was trying to get me to say we were done and that I didn't want to see him or talk to him anymore. I told him I don't know why he believes I feel that way, because it's not true - and then I hear in his voice and can feel through the phone he's on the verge of a breakdown. After much back and forth discussion we agreed that they both need time to process and figure things out. I let him know I am here, but I won't reach out to communicate with him until he tells me I can, and in what form, and with what frequency, etc. I repeated myself several times, and I think I finally got through. He has to tell me when and how he wants me to participate in his life based on what is going on with his family. I said in one of my earliest posts, I'm not the homewrecking type. I was told they had an arrangement, apparently that has changed. I still love him. I want to see him happy and successful. I miss seeing him terribly, and miss our chats. All-in-all his wife and kids are his priority. I can not be jealous of that. Disappointed maybe, but not jealous.

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