Updated: Dec 16, 2020
Having friends is awesome. Thinking you’re moving into a relationship, then being friend-zoned is crap.
I need to provide some context. I’m gay. I’m married. I’m polyamorous.
There’s all kinds of poly...let it suffice to say that one person can’t meet all of another person‘s needs.
I reconnected with a guy I had a crush on a while back. He’s bisexual and married to a woman (they have an arrangement, not my business). I went really slow exploring possibilities because I didn’t know what he was interested in. Things moved along and I thought, cool, this could go somewhere. We chatted, met up at the gym, fooled around a little. I went his house for a movie, he came to mine for dinner with my husband and me. Hubbs went to bed early, crush and I fooled around a little.
Conversation ensued, statements were made and observations were relayed. I tried not to go too fast so I didn’t overwhelm him and was told I wasn’t being honest about what I wanted. I told him. He kinda freaked out. End result, friend-zone.
The big scary need was intimacy and passion. As it turns out, I have emotional needs, not physical needs. Apparently sex in the back of a car with a guy you just met is fine, but sharing passion with someone you know is too much.